Dear Dave,

My boyfriend is not very good with money, and he is in a bad situation right now. He has a huge car payment every month, plus about $30,000 in credit card debt. He also lives in a very expensive apartment. He recently quit a really good job because he doesn’t like his boss anymore. He has talked about filing bankruptcy, and yesterday he asked if he could move in with me. I love him, but I’m also scared. I try to manage my money well by saving, investing for retirement and staying out of debt. What does this mean for our future together?

Crislyn

Dear Crislyn,

My guess is the guy’s not really bankrupt, but it sounds like he has some maturity and character issues that need to be addressed. I’m not saying things can’t change, but this is not someone to move in with or consider marrying anytime soon. You two would have a hard time as husband and wife unless he makes some real course corrections in his attitudes about money and life.

For starters, he needs to get another job, sell the expensive car and find a cheaper place to live. Leaving one position for another is okay, but deciding you just don’t like something and walking away from it without another job waiting—especially when you’ve got bills and a bunch of debt—is just plain irresponsible.

Lots of people identify too strongly with what they drive or where they live. They come to believe those things are indications of their value or worth, and that’s sad. It means something inside them is broken, and bankruptcy isn’t going to fix that.

All this doesn’t mean he isn’t basically a decent guy, but it does mean he needs to get control of his finances—and that he’s got some soul searching and growing up to do.

—Dave

* Dave Ramsey is a seven-time #1 national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 18 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

My husband is a union member and works at a paint factory near our home. His union’s current contract will expire in nine months. We have about $27,000 of debt left to pay off, and he makes a little over $80,000 a year. I’m nervous because his slow season is coming up between now and then. During this time, he usually gets about half the hours — and, of course, less money — than he does during the rest of the year. I’m a little scared, even though there hasn’t been a strike in the last six years. Do you think we should go ahead and pay off our remaining debt or hold onto every penny in case they walk out?

— Cheyanne

Dear Cheyanne,

I’m going to tell you something that might just blow your mind: You two can pay off the debt and have some money set aside to live on in that length of time. If you do that, you’ll actually be more ready for a strike than ever before. You’ll both have to be on the same page financially and do things with a sense of urgency, but right now, I don’t think you’ve got too much to worry about.

The likelihood of them going on strike is pretty low. Chances are, they’re just rattling their sabers and talking big to posture for the negotiations. Most factories are behind right now, and the last thing they want is to get even further behind. Everything has been so screwed up by COVID-19 that unless the union demands some completely ridiculous stuff, things will probably work out fine.

I think you guys are going to be fine, Cheyanne. Should you be intentional and thoughtful about the situation? Absolutely. It’s always wise to look ahead and plan for the future. Getting that debt paid off and saving up a bunch of cash will give you real peace of mind.    

 — Dave

Dave Ramsey is a seven-time No. 1 national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of “The Ramsey Show,” heard by more than 18 million listeners each week. He has appeared on “Good Morning America,” “CBS This Morning,” “Today,” “Fox News,” “CNN,” “Fox Business” and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.