Dear Dave,

I switched to a debit card so that the money I spend comes directly from my checking account. But I still have a problem some months with overspending and buying things I shouldn’t. Do you think I should stop using my debit card?

Debbie

Dear Debbie,

When I made the decision to get intentional with my money, I just used cash. It’s hard to spend it when you don’t have any on you. It’s a tough thing, I know, but you have to make a conscious decision to start living differently. You’ve got to get mad at the things that steal your money a dollar or two at a time enough to take action.

Try looking at your life as a whole, not a moment at time. All the moments you’re living right now will have either a positive or negative effect on your future. I decided I wanted the greater, long-term good, so I gave up on the short-term stuff.

Debit cards are great tools. You can’t spend money you don’t have with them like you can with a credit card. But you’ve still got to budget very carefully for each month, and give a name and a job to every single penny of your income. Otherwise, you can still overspend.

—Dave

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave, 

My wife and I have always accepted the fact that we’d have a mountain of debt to pay off after the holidays. Having to deal with it all seemed more frustrating this year than ever before. Can you tell us how to make it through the next Thanksgiving and Christmas without having to pay off so much debt? 

Brady 

Dear Brady, 

Giving is a wonderful thing if your intentions, and your finances, are in the right place. But generosity isn’t meant to be stressful to you or your bank account. It’s all too easy to try to justify overspending during the holiday season, because so many things you do are for family and friends. Still, you shouldn’t let yourself become trapped by the shopping craze or overspending just because everyone else is doing it.  

Give with the right intentions, and give with a financial plan in place ahead of time that doesn’t include debt. Thanksgiving is always on the fourth Thursday of November, right? And Christmas always falls on December 25^th. The holidays don’t come as a surprise to anyone, so don’t wait until November, then act shocked that it’s all just around the corner. Jump on things right now, and start setting aside a little in your budget each month throughout the year for the holiday season. 

Sit down with your wife, and decide together how much you can put aside each month for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Once you agree on an amount, make a list, check it twice and stick to it. It’s easy to find something in the mall you just have to buy for someone. And that’s where problems start. So, include amounts you’re going to spend on each person, each charity, or each event. It’s all just common sense. But it’s up to you and your wife—together—to decide to live on a budget and give every single dollar a

job.  

You can do this, Brady. Make it happen! 

—Dave 

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions. 

Dear Dave, 

My wife and I have started teaching our five-year-old son about money. Do you feel we should step in and fix things when he makes mistakes, or let him experience the consequences of his actions? It’s so hard on my wife, especially, to see him disappointed when he makes a mistake, and his plans don’t work out.  

Lane 

Dear Lane, 

I know this might sound mean to some folks, but sometimes a good financial disappointment when you’re young is the best thing that can happen to you. They’re hard to watch happen, or to experience, but often they’ll teach life-long lessons. No decent parent wants to see their child sad or hurt, but reality is a pretty good teacher when it comes to learning how the world really works. 

One of the jobs of a parent is to look for teachable moments with their kids. Of course, when it comes to teaching there’s always a chance the student won’t learn the lesson well enough the first time around. I’m not sure how you’re doing things, but if I were in your shoes, I’d follow these steps. First, give him a chance to earn some money. In my book, that means work. No allowances! There’s a lot of self-esteem and value to be found in accomplishing a given task successfully. Then, once you pay him for the work he does, you have another perfect chance for teachable moments, because you can help him learn about saving, spending and giving, and how to do all three wisely. 

It’s always hard on parents when they see their kids unhappy. I know we went through it with ours. As a parent and protector, you want to jump in and make everything okay. But the hard truth is that fixing or doing everything for them is the easy way out. And in the process of doing that, a child will begin to develop a sort of learned helplessness.  

Sometimes, Lane, you need to love kids enough to not do things for them. Let them make some mistakes, experience the consequences and fix things themselves. And it’s better for them to do all this while they’re still under your guidance and protection.  

—Dave 

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions. 

Dear Dave,  

My husband and I bought a franchise recently, and we are opening our business in a couple of months. We’ve got $40,000 saved up, but my husband wants us to take a two-week vacation before we open for business. He feels that the business will completely consume us for the next two or three years, and he wants to go into things relaxed and refreshed. How do you feel about this idea?  

Jill  

Dear Jill,  

I understand where your husband’s coming from. A business is very time consuming, and to make it a success you’ll both have to eat, sleep and breathe it for a very long time.  

But here’s the reality of your situation. Right now, you’re basically unemployed. On top of that, you have just $40,000 with which to start a business. It’s time to rev up your engines and get to work, not spend a bunch of money vacationing. Trust me, there’ll be plenty of time to celebrate after you’ve won, maybe in even bigger and better ways, if you’ll just delay gratification and put in the dedication and hard work now.  

When it comes to opening a new business, a good rule of thumb is this: Everything’s going to take twice as long to accomplish as you thought it would, and everything’s going to be twice as expensive as you thought it’d be. I’m sure you’re both smart people, but my guess is you’re not exceptions to this rule when it comes to opening and running a small business.  

Think about it, every single dollar connected with your business could mean the difference between survival and going under. Like I said, I kind of get your husband’s thought process, but it would be a very unwise idea right now. You’ve got to look at the big picture. You’re going to be heartbroken, and maybe in a real financial bind, if you have to close up shop in a few months because you ran out of money.  

On the other hand, if you work hard now, stay smart and make this thing a success, you can take a vacation—and really celebrate—when the time is right!  

—Dave  

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.