Dear Dave,

About a year ago, my husband and I offered an empty house we own to a young man at our church, who had lost his home and everything he owned in a fire. He has taken good care of the place, but has made no effort to pay rent. We don’t need the money, because we’re in good shape financially, and we were thinking about selling the other house, anyway. I’d like to simply write it off, and gift the home and title to this young man, but my husband feels he owes us something for putting a roof over his head all this time. What are your thoughts?

Penny

Dear Penny,

I think you and your husband have good hearts. I also think you handled this situation poorly.

From the sound of things, you put him there originally on a charity basis, and now your husband wants to change the deal. You didn’t set up any kind of rental agreement, but your husband feels you two are owed something? I’m sorry, but no. That’s on you.

At this point, you have some big decisions to make. Were you providing free housing to someone who was struggling, or were you providing a free house to someone who was struggling? I understand this young man experienced a terrible tragedy. But at the same time, I’m not hearing lots of evidence that he’s putting his life back together. If after this long the guy’s not back on his feet and out on his own, you may be enabling bad behavior on his part.

Now, if you want to gift him the house, that’s your decision. If you want to approach him with a rental agreement or sale proposal to which all parties are amicable, that’s okay, too. If neither of these ideas are in the cards, I’d make sure to sit down with this young man and have a gentle—but firm—talk. I’d let him know I had been happy to help him over the last several months, but that he needs to start moving forward with his life. I’d set a very reasonable and patient timeline for a move-out date, and let him know once that time is up, I’ll be selling the house.

That’s fair to everyone concerned.

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

My girlfriend’s parents are divorced, and they’re both in their early seventies. We talked the other night, and she’s thinking about buying them each life insurance policies. The only coverage her dad has is through his employer. Her mom has remarried, and she doesn’t have any life insurance at all. On top of this, her dad is worried he might have to pay her mom’s funeral expenses if she died, and he’s not in good enough shape financially to do that. Do you have any advice?

Joshua

Dear Joshua, 

If the only life insurance her dad has is furnished through his employer, then he probably won’t have it anymore once he stops working. I suppose it’s fine if she wants to buy them each a small policy, but it’s liable to be pretty expensive at their age.

Now, she can do this, but I don’t think it would be a good long-term plan. I’d tell your girlfriend she needs to start saving money and building up her own wealth. If she had just $20,000 in savings, that’d be more than enough to bury two people. Please understand, I don’t mean to sound insensitive. We’re talking solely about the economics involved in this kind of situation.

The other thing your girlfriend should do is have a discussion with her mom to find out if the stepfather has the money to handle that kind of thing. When it comes right down to it, any final expenses for her mom would be his responsibility now—not her dad’s. She should have a discussion with her dad about preparing for things, too. But if her dad’s got insurance through work, and the stepdad is ready to pay for her mom’s burial, then they’re covered for the immediate future.

In short, I wouldn’t do it unless they absolutely don’t have this sort of thing covered. Even then, I’d prefer she just covered it with cash, because all we’re talking about is enough to cover burial costs. No matter what anyone else says, Joshua, a nice funeral doesn’t have to be crazy expensive.

— Dave

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

My car was declared totaled because of hail damage, and my insurance company says I have two options. One is to take a higher total loss settlement check of $19,000 and use it toward the purchase of another car. The insurance company would then take possession of the car. The other option is to accept a check for $13,000 and have the car on a salvage title. The car is worth $15,000, and I have 20% car replacement assistance on my policy that increases the total loss settlement to the $19,000 amount I mentioned earlier. I’m on Baby Step 3 of your plan, and I owe nothing on the car. What should I do?

— Meagan

Dear Meagan,

Take the bigger check! That’s a quick and easy decision, but give me a minute to explain why. It’s not about being greedy—it’s a little more complicated than that.

If you had $19,000 in your pocket, would you go buy a $6,000 hail-damaged, salvage-title vehicle for everyday driving? Of course, you wouldn’t do that! The insurance company is probably hoping you’ll overlook the $19,000 offer and essentially pay $6,000 for this beat-up car. No. Thank. You. I’ll pass on that deal.

With $19,000, you’ll have plenty of cash to rent a car for a couple of weeks and take time to find a great-quality used car at a good price. You might even be able to negotiate with the insurance company to give you a little time to look for another ride before they come pick up the old one.

But no, you don’t want that messed up, old car. Why would you? That thing probably looks like a kid with a bad case of acne right now. Go find yourself a nice car, hon. There are plenty of affordable, slightly used vehicles on the market right now. There’s no reason for you to drive around in something that’s all beat up if you don’t have to.

Best of luck, Meagan!

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of “The Ramsey Show.” He has appeared on “Good Morning America,” “CBS This Morning,” “Today,” Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

My wife and I have been very fortunate in our careers. We both have six-figure incomes, and as a result we have a little over $2 million in savings and investments. With this in mind, do you have any advice on how to make sure your kids aren’t spoiled as they grow up in a family that’s doing well financially?

Gary

Dear Gary,

First, don’t spoil them! Teach them to work, and teach them to be givers. Oh, and gently remind them every so often that it’s you and your wife who are wealthy—not them. Yeah, I know. This probably sounds mean to some folks, but I’m talking about simply explaining to them how you and their mom have worked hard, been smart with your money, and that’s why you’re in the position you’re in.

We taught all our kids, from a very young age, just how important it is to work. Work equals money. When you do that, and kids see it in their parents’ attitudes and actions, it makes a big impression. With little kids, it can start with simple things like cleaning up their rooms or clearing the table after dinner. And it should carry over into their teenage years, as well. Every able-bodied child should be working and earning money, whether it’s their own entrepreneurial idea, at a fast food joint or babysitting.

Another thing we did was based in our faith. As Christians, we taught our kids that we don’t really own anything. It all belongs to God, and one of our jobs is to wisely manage the things He entrusts to us. The first rule is to take care of your own household—the important stuff. After that, it’s okay to have some nice things, but it’s not all about fun. It’s also about thoughtful giving and being generous.

As a parent, your job isn’t to be a buddy to your kids. It’s not to give them every little thing they want, and make sure they’re running around carefree and playing every hour of the day. Your job is to teach them about the important things in life, and over time, mold them into mature, responsible human beings who can survive—and succeed—in the real world. 

— Dave

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.