Dear Dave, 

My best friend is having financial problems, and I’m worried about him. He’s “between jobs” now and making less than $600 a month through a part-time job. He says he’s holding out for his dream job, which is about ten hours away, but even when he’s working full time, he always asks to borrow money or says he’s running low. He interviewed for his dream job several months ago, and I haven’t got the heart to tell him he was probably passed over for the position. Is there anything I can do to help him?  

Garrett 

Dear Garett, 

I assume that since you’re good friends, he’s willing to listen to what you have to say. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a dream job. You just have to be practical and realistic at the same time. 

This next part is more observation than insult, so I hope you’ll understand. Your friend sounds to me like he might be a little impulsive and unrealistic. When it comes right down to it, maybe a touch immature, too. So, I think what we’re talking about here is how to give your friend a gentle, well-intentioned nudge in a more realistic direction. He needs to open his eyes to some positive financial realities of life—like living on a written, monthly budget—and not making a habit of chasing rainbows and making excuses.   

If he came to me for advice, the first thing I’d tell him is that the most employable people are ones who aren’t broke. When you go into a job interview and you’re broke, it’s easy to come off as desperate and tense. That doesn’t make for a very good interview.  

The answer to that, when you’re essentially unemployed, is to work any legitimate full-time job. At the very least, two, three or even four part-time jobs. Deliver pizzas, wait tables and mow yards. It’s doesn’t matter what you’re doing, as long as you’re generating a livable income for yourself. Smile and be professional at whatever you’re doing, too. You never know when you might come face-to-face with your next real employer. But none of this will happen if you’re working three or four hours a day, and spending most of your time at home in front of the television. 

I hope this helps. I hope your friend will listen to you and understand you have his best interests at heart. But if he doesn’t, all you can do is hope for the best and pray for him. 

Best of luck, Garrett. You’re a good friend. 

—Dave 

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions. 

Dear Dave, 

My mom and dad always told me to live within my means. As an adult, I’ve made some mistakes with money, including falling right back into debt after paying off everything. I’m tired of this rollercoaster, and I want to get control of my finances for good. Can you give me some advice on where to start?  

Melissa 

Dear Melissa, 

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But making mistakes with money means just one thing. It means you’re human. We’ve all done it. Think about this, though. We’re approaching a traditional time of the year for changes. On top of that, you’re smart enough to have realized what you’ve done in the past hasn’t worked.   

Believe it or not, I was once in the exact same spot you are now. When it happened to me, there were three pieces to the puzzle that helped me break the cycle. One was fear. Specifically, I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my family, and that I’d retire broke. Now, don’t misunderstand me. No one should live their lives in fear. But a healthy, reasonable level of fear can provide needed motivation.  

Another was disgust. I realized what I was doing was stupid. I was tired of living that way, and I made a conscious, purposeful decision that things were going to be different.  

The third piece, and maybe the most important because it’s connected to our spiritual walk, was contentment. We live in a society that’s constantly having the idea that we’ll be happier, or more successful, or more admired, if we’ll only buy this or that product. We’re constantly marketed to, and when we have this stuff in our faces day after day, we can become unsatisfied with just about every aspect of our lives. Don’t let it drag you down. It’s all just an illusion. 

One of the things I did to combat this, was to start living on a strict, written, monthly budget. Also, I stopped going places where I was tempted to spend money. You shouldn’t give a drunk a drink, right? So, don’t put yourself in a bad situation when it comes to your behavior with money. If you go wandering through the mall without a specific plan, you’ll lose every single time. 

When you go to the store make a list of only the things you need. On top of that, take only enough cash with you to buy what you need. If you can walk in and back out without buying a bunch of stuff that wasn’t on your list, it’s a win. Every time you do this, it’s another win and another step away from your old habits and in the right direction. 

You can do this, Melissa. God bless you. 

—Dave 

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions. 

Most families have money problems at some point. And when I was a little kid, our family went through tough financial times just like everyone else. A job layoff can take your breath away. An illness can leave you completely broke. Little kids in the house may not know exactly what’s going on, but there’s stress in the air. They’re told, “Times are tough, so we can’t go on vacation this year,” or “We have to move,” or “Christmas is going to be slim.” 

My parents were in the real estate business and were building homes. Then, the economy went sideways and left them in a mess. Outside forces brought trouble to our house. We never went without food, shelter, or anything else, but the air changed in our home. I always thought money would solve the problem, so I vowed that one day I would become a millionaire. I doubt I even knew what that meant, but in my head, I thought it meant money would never be a problem. 

Believe it or not, I’m a spender by nature. I’ve always enjoyed spending money. Of course, when I was young and immature, that idea of spending for fun led me into the trap of thinking if I got enough Stuff, I would be happy. I would’ve never admitted it out loud, but there was also the stupid idea deep down that if I got enough Stuff, I would be happy and safe, or if I got the right Stuff, people would be impressed.  

With that driving force, I went about the business of earning piles of money so I could spend piles of money. But a funny thing happened. The Stuff became . . . unsatisfying. There was never completion or peace after a purchase, only the need to buy more.   

Stuff just doesn’t do it. 

By the time I was 26, I was a millionaire making $250,000 a year. Not long after that, due to some really dumb business decisions, I went broke and lost everything. That was 30 years ago.  

I also met God during this time, who did bring me peace and completion. I finally realized I was pouring Stuff down a spiritual hole, and Stuff is not designed to fill that hole. No matter how many cars I bought, or fancy dinners I ate, or cool places I traveled to, there was always something still missing.  

During the following decades, we slowly began re-building wealth . . . this time while always giving. In the process, we discovered there’s much more joy in giving than in Stuff. If you haven’t experienced the joy of giving, there’s no better time to start than during the holiday season. Who knows? It might just be the encouragement you need to become a giver all year long.  

Merry Christmas, everyone! 

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions. 

Dear Dave, 

We’re following your Baby Steps plan, and we’ve paid off all our credit cards. But when I talked to my husband the other day about cutting up the cards and closing the accounts, he said he would rather keep the accounts open, and the cards locked away in a drawer for use as an emergency fund. He says this will help us have an emergency fund in place quicker than saving for one. I think there’s more behind his reasoning, though. He grew up in a very poor family, and I wonder if he’s not afraid of somehow ending up in that kind of situation again. What can I do to convince him to follow your advice? 

Ramona 

Dear Ramona, 

I think you’re a very perceptive lady. You said your husband grew up in poverty, right? So, what I’m hearing is the cards represent almost a security blanket for him—a financial security blanket. I get that, but here’s the thing. If you had a fully funded emergency fund of three to six months of expenses sitting in the bank, I’m talking about hard cold cash, you’d have the security of knowing that the expense of a new air conditioning unit or transmission for the car would only be a minor inconvenience. And, you’d be able to cover it easily without going back into debt. 

Instead of actively trying to convince him of something, a better route might be to sit down together and talk through the whole thing. Explain to him you think you know why he feels the way he does, and that it’s understandable. Then, ask him if there’s a reasonable amount you two could have in the bank that would help him stop worrying. Discuss it, agree on an amount and then agree to cut the cards up and close the accounts when you reach that figure. Remind him, too, you’d still have your debit cards in hand in the event of an emergency.  

Above all, Ramona, make sure you work together. Be patient and understanding. If he has recognized the wisdom of getting rid of debt and taking control of your finances, he’s moving in the right direction! 

— Dave 

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.