Dear Dave,

We’ve been following your plan for a while. We’re debt-free, except for our home, and we have six months of expenses set aside in our emergency fund. Recently, I lost my job. I’m luckier than some, because received a generous severance package from my previous employer, plus my wife still has a good job. My parents always raised me to take care of things myself and not rely on others. I suppose it’s because of this I feel a little guilty about filing for unemployment compensation. Do you think there’s anything morally wrong with accepting unemployment benefits?

Brandt

Dear Brandt,

I really appreciate your self-sufficient attitude. I don’t know what happened at your last job, but I’ve got a feeling you’re a hard worker and a decent guy. I’m sorry you and your wife are having to deal with this kind of situation.

The Social Security system in this country is a mathematical failure. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to take my money when I deserve it. The government took it from me in the first place, so I don’t have a problem with accepting something I’ve already paid into.

Now, I’ll throw out a warning here. Sometimes when people start receiving unemployment benefits, it causes them to take their foot off the gas. The idea that “free” money is coming in can help them rationalize sitting at home on the couch, instead of working hard to find another job and being extra careful with their finances. I’m not hearing that kind of mentality from you, though. And it’s obvious you and your wife have been pretty smart with your finances.

One more thing I’d suggest is making sure you look at your severance package as survival money only. Make a strict budget and stick to it. Cut out all excess spending. That means no eating out, vacations or anything like that until you’re working again and everything’s back on solid ground. Right now, focus on covering your Four Walls. By that, I mean food, utilities, shelter and transportation. Feed your family, keep the electricity on, pay the mortgage and put enough gas in the car to get where you need to go.

Everyone hits a rough stretch of road in life from time to time, Brandt. But you two are in a position to handle it better than most. Just remember what got you to such a good place with your finances in the first place. The discipline muscle is already there, and it’s strong. Just flex it, and it’ll help get you through this and back on your feet again!

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is a national best-selling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 20 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS Mornings, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for the company, Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

I was wondering if you recommend including future purchases, especially major purchases, into your monthly budget. If so, how far in advance should you do this?

Andie

Dear Andie,

When you wait until things go wrong or something breaks down, you’ll find yourself in a mess and the victim of your own poor planning. That’s why I’d start putting money aside in my budget as soon as I saw signs there would be a need for whatever item it may be.

Let’s say you’re pretty sure you’ll need a newer vehicle in a couple of years. Go ahead and start putting the money aside now. Decide on a reasonable, affordable ballpark price, then do the math to see how much you’ll have to save every month to make it happen. And if you can make it happen faster than two years? Great!

And remember, this kind of stuff is a whole lot easier when you don’t have things like car loans and credit card payments hanging around your neck!

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is a national best-selling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 20 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS Mornings, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for the company, Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

My wife and I are trying hard to get out of debt and start controlling our finances. We’ve always given our kids allowances in the past, but we’ve been considering putting their allowances on hold until we pay off our debt and get in better shape financially. What do you think about this idea?

Cody

Dear Cody,

I’m glad you two are making smart changes in your lives, but I wouldn’t stop what you’ve been doing where your kids are concerned. It can be a series of great teachable moments for them. I would, however, stop calling it an allowance. In my mind, there’s a victim mentality attached to word “allowance,” and that’s not something you want taking root in their minds.

Kids should learn at an early age that money is connected to work. Even a kid who’s in kindergarten is old enough to begin doing some age-appropriate chores around the house. So, let’s start calling it a “commission” instead of an allowance. Why? Because in situations like these shouldn’t be viewed as “allowing” them something. It should be looked at—by you and by them—as rewarding success.

My wife and I did this very thing with our kids as they were growing up. Each of them had a list of chores that were expected of them each day. If they did their jobs, they got paid at the end of the week. If they didn’t, they didn’t get any money.

Some people may look at this method and call it “tough love.” But it’s really not. It’s just love. It’s something you do when you’re trying to teach your children, and guide them toward becoming independent, responsible adults.

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is a national best-selling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 20 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS Mornings, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for the company, Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

My husband lost his job four months ago, and we’re close to losing our home. I’m working three jobs trying to keep our heads above water, while he’s “waiting for the right opportunity.” I understand his feelings, but at the same time I’ve been encouraging him to find a job like delivering pizzas to help out. Should we continue this way, or should I quit my really hard job, and just let him take responsibility? I love my husband, and I hate the idea of losing the house, but this is driving me crazy.

Janet

Dear Janet,

Many guys are task-oriented, and if they’re not careful, they can start defining themselves by what they do rather than who they are. So, when a guy, in particular, loses a job it can be a huge deal in his life and a massive blow to his ego.

When I went broke a few decades ago, I had to re-think who I was in my own mind. I’d lost my business, and in many ways, I looked at that company as who I was. My identity was suddenly gone, and lots of guys go through that very same thing with a job loss.

If he’s not willing to listen to you, I think you two need to sit down with a good, objective marriage counselor, because he’s confused as to why he works. There are two reasons we work. One is to provide for our families. That’s our primary job. The second reason is to exercise our calling—the reason we were put on this planet. But you can’t accomplish the second one when you’re not doing the first one. You’ve got to make sure your family has a place to live and food on the table. Four months of a guy sitting on his butt like this is unacceptable. I don’t want to hear about being over-qualified, or anything about a career path. Get a job and take care of your family! I don’t care if it’s cutting grass, shoveling snow or delivering pizza. In situations like this, you have to stand up, be a man and take care of your responsibilities.

I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. Believe me, I get it. Sometimes people go through problems, and they need a break of some kind to work through the pain. I did a little of that when I went broke. But at the end of the day, we didn’t lose our home because I was sitting around doing nothing. Even when I’d lost all my self-confidence, I still went out and tried to get things started again.

It’s time for your husband to stand up, brush himself off and make something happen!

— Dave

*  Dave Ramsey is a national best-selling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 20 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS Mornings, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for the company, Ramsey Solutions.